funny

I hope this blog takes off because we all need some humor in our lives.  People described in this blog should remain nameless as you might personally know some of them.

I have the wackiest group of neighbors in Clay county.  I live on the island, hence my screen id.  I live on a cul-de-sac in a community with a homeowner's association.  It is for the most part a sleepy little neighborhood, but we have our days.  Here goes.  I swear that what I am about to write is the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Neighbor #1.  He is disabled from an auto accident. He sustained some serious life threatening injuries, and recovered, but he is in pain most all the time.  I call him mister leaf blower.  Since he doesn't work, he spends hours in his yard.  Granted, I would kill if my yard looked like his, but he takes it one step further.  If a single leaf blows in his yard, he will fire up the leaf blower and blow it from one end of the road to the other.  He blows morning, noon, and night.  My next door neighbor told him one night about 10pm to put that @#$@# blower up.  In our neighborhood we don't have many dogs, but what we lack in dogs, we make up in cats.  He spreads shell fragments instead of mulch.  The cats believe they have gone to kitty litter heaven and make profound use of all that litter.  So, he collects his urine, and pours it in the yards of the owners of all the cats.  Something he readily admits.  He says that marks territory and the cats won't come back to his yard.   He moved to the neighborhood several years ago from a large lot in the country.  He likes to bathe in the front yard and clean up before he goes in the house.  Yep, you heard that one right.  I'll leave the rest to your imagination.  He tried to sell his house FSBO, but when the interested people took the home tour, not a single one ever came back.

For those of you who don't know Jeff Dunham is a Ventriloquist who has half a dozen characters he works with.  His latest cd that was released in September and is called "Insanity Strikes"  You can catch shorts of his videos on You Tube or you can buy them at Amazon.com for around $8

Some might be critical because he's not perfect when it comes to being able to hide his mouth and throat movement but if you're interested in being entertained rather then being picky the man is hillarious.  There is some profanity, not alot but you have the option to hear the sensored version on the cd. 

I was getting ready to go to work the other night when my eye got caught on my son Patrick, who was sitting at the computer looking straight at the screen like hypnotized! All of a sudden his little fingers would hit the keyboard like an electric discharge coming straight from his little brain.

_Patrick what are you doing?

 -Homework, he answered without even looking at me

-I see, and what kind of homework is it?

-Politics mom!

-I see! Social Studies?

- No mom, real politics! I am writing to the President of the Unites States!

- About?

-Our family.. He replied very satisfied and his fingers went back to the keyboard.

After I successfully volunteered to be sentenced to membership on the County Commission's citizens advisory committee on school concurrency, I offered my personal e-mail address to any citizens who had suggestions, questions or advice.  Last night I got an e-mail from a blog reader whose question had nothing to do with pending legislation.

It was from a youngster interested in a career in journalism, who asked me what my most famous stories were while I was working newspapers.  I have two, both exhibiting the extremes of human nature.  One was tragic.  The other lent itself to some humor.

THE RANGE OF 8 INCHES LONG.

I'm skipping the introductory stuff and going right to the music. Keep in mind, if you've heard these songs and don't like them, I don't think you're lame or anything, I just don't have the same taste in music you do I guess.

1.  Don't call me Whitney, Bobby - The Islands

  -One of the catchiest songs I've ever heard that doesn't have any real hook. Just an acoustic guitar, a bass, and if I'm hearing correctly, not even an entire drum kit, just the snare. The lyrics are innocent but mature. I don't really understand the title, but hey, everyone loves a little Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown drama.

 I'm so proud of my children this week. (Of course I always am but you know what I mean.)My 4-year-old son, Brady - named after NE QB — was the top hopper in a Hop-a-Thon at his preschool. 152 hops in a minute. It was a fund raiser for Jerry's Kids.
My daughter, Nichole, 11, put together what I think is a fabulous and riveting research paper on the history and the making of toilet paper. I learned a lot of things about corn cobs and the Sears catalog that I didn't know before. 
Way to go litt

OH, isn't technology wonderful? Faithful readers of My Clay Sun noticed that in Saturday's edition, there were not any page numbers. Now, while I certainly may be tempted to play a joke on you come April Fool's Day, the lack of page numbers in My Clay Sun on Saturday can be attributed to a computer selection that was turned OFF -- long after I signed off on the pages. The pages all did have page numbers on them. But when page numbers, or folios, are turned off by computer during the production process, they disappear! With one click of a mouse, our modern technologies can change a printed page so quickly.

I took my 3 year old, Drew, to visit his ‘Nina’ this weekend in Port St. Joe, FL which is always a treat for them both.  We had a great time relaxing, putting our toes in the sand while eating great gumbo at the Mexico Beach Gumbo Cookoff, and more.  But undoubtedly, one of my son’s favorite activities was fishing with his second cousin, Hunter.  Did they fish at the beach?  No!  At the river, or at one of the other many bodies of water nearby?  No! <