I Gave My Gun A Chance!

I gave my gun a chance ! 

I gave my gun a chance too kill me!  I have heard from so many in the media that we have got to get rid of our guns, because they kill people. I have many guns and I have had them for a long time. I had no idea that my guns would kill me. I believe that I have been rather nice to them. I have always taken care of them; I keep them clean and well oiled. I feed them bullets as needed. I even keep them locked up to keep them safe.

            So, I had to ask myself, why would my guns want to kill me, did I do something wrong to them? I don’t think so. I couldn’t quit thinking about it. I would lie in bed at night with my guns above my head and wonder if tonight would be the night that my guns would shoot me.  I had to get to the bottom of this. I had to find out if my guns were going to kill me once and for all! So, I devised a plan.

            I went to my gun locker and I took out the biggest and badest gun I own. His name is Pete, Pistil Pete. His parents are Smith & Wesson of the 357magnum breed. I have never had a problem with Pete before, but I had to be sure he didn’t want to hurt me. I picked him up carefully and laid him on the table. I set there for awhile and just starred at Pete and nothing happened. Pete looked as content as he always did. I got to thinking; maybe he is trying to trick me.

            I had an idea, what if I would make Pete mad? What if I really ticked him off? Would that expedite my guns plan to take my life, I had to find out. So, I did something that I had never done before. I picked up a hand full of dirt and I rubbed it all over his barrel. I knew he wouldn’t like that, dirt and oil would have to make him terribly uncomfortable. I sat and watched for his reaction, Nothing! He just sat there and snubbed his barrel at me. It was like he just didn’t care. I had to do something to make him mad enough to want to kill me. I had to find out!           

            I picked Pete up and took him outside. While on my way I pushed some dirt down his barrel just to rub it in. I couldn’t believe it there was still no response. I was starting to get frustrated. I knew Pete had to be getting upset; I had never treated him like that before. Pete just laid there in my hands as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I turned him around and looked down his barrel and ask him. I said, Pete if you are planning to kill me the least you can do is shoot me while I am looking down your barrel. Pete Just ignored me. He didn’t say or do anything the silence was deafening.

             I started to get very upset at him and started to curse him and still nothing. No response at all from Pete. Ohh! How dare he ignore me like that after everything that I have done for him, and he shuns me! I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t forget. I picked Pete up over my head as far as I could and through him on the pavement as hard as I could. I knew as soon as he hit the ground and gained his senses he would surely shoot me then. So I did a barrel roll out of his way so he would miss me. As I stood up and looked at Pete I couldn’t believe my eyes. Pete Just laid there as if nothing happened. I was enraged at him. I ran back into my house too the gun locker and I grabbed Jr. from the shelf. I ran back to Pete and shot him before he had a chance to shoot me.

            As the smoke cleared I realized Pete was dead. I looked in my hands and I saw Jr. I looked at Jr. and screamed OHH!!! My God you shot Pete. Jr. was silent for a few seconds and then said slowly, No I didn’t, you did!! YOU pointed me at him and YOU pulled my trigger. I was content on my shelf until you picked me up and used me!

The Moral too the story: GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!