Thursday Morning Heds

From the Times-Union Metro Section ...

Company weighing terminal downsize

Oh, well, there are a few more 18-wheelers that won't be using our Outer Tollway.

Long lines, longer odds at 'American Idol' auditions

Where will all those people go to get insulted once Simon leaves town?

Think tank to ponder city funds

The first topic under consideration is figuring out exactly how much of the city funds can be deposited in the think tank's bank account.

From CNN.com ...

Minorities expected to be majority in 2050

I'll be 98 then. I imagine I'll be much less concerned about someone's ethnicity than their willingness to help me change my Depends.

World's tallest women, 53, dies in Indiana

If the headline writer is going to include a statistical fact above this particular story, wouldn't you think he or she would have come up with something a little more eye-catching than her age?

And the winner of the worst writing of 2008 is ...

Hey, our MCS blogs are getting worldwide recognition!

From FoxNews.com ...

Edwards Affair: Wife in 'Anguish'

Also in the extra bedroom at night and the divorce lawyer's and accountant's offices during the day. When she's not busy in chemo, you scumbag!

Whites in the Minority by 2042, U.S. Census Predicts

Either Fox or CNN has a headline writer with eight years of 'splainin' to do.

China Quake Reconstruction Bill Totals $147,000,000,000

Not a problem. They'll just stroke a check on the account where they've got the American economy deposited.

And, finally, from Comcast.com's Odd News ...

Ex-cop sentenced for pulling over woman for number

All he was doing was following the examples of his role models, Starsky and Hutch, and Ponch and what's his name.

Ohio man buys new truck with thousands of coins

Just proves car dealers will do anything to make a deal. And wouldn't it have been more fun to use all those coins to pay off property taxes instead?

Ohio Burger King worker fired for bathing in sink

Must be another reason for getting canned. Usually, being that clean is enough to win Employee of the Month.

Michael S. Mann

michaelsmann@comcast.net




Submitted by finder on Thu, 08/14/2008 - 6:06am.

A la Blue Collar Comedy:

I think - it was meant to be septic tank.

Finally the answer to my question:

Rutledge, 46, said he would be a "relentless" growth manager, pursue economic development and increased transportation funding and meet community needs, without expanding government.

"The board has reduced the size of government without reducing the services to the citizens," he said. "I pledge to continue to find savings and efficiencies in government and return the money to the people where it belongs."

Hmmm.... Supports +2 but without expanding government. I wonder which two they got rid of to make room for the new ones. That must be how they plan on paying for the +2. I'm sure the reducees appreciate that.

The next time they find an efficiency I'll be looking for my check in the mail.

Mike Heemer




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