I received an email last night from a Parent of one of the girls in the Folio Story. It was very short but meaningful, a "Thank You" for the support. Earlier in the day yesterday the Mother in me was very much preoccupied with these girls, their sisters, their friends and I wanted so much to try and say something to help. Since I now know that at least one of them knows these blogs exist I have my chance.
Girls,
First and foremost always remember that you are truly unique in this world although it sometimes doesn't feel that way. You are precious to your Creator as well as your earthly Parents, regardless of what you do, and that is called unconditional love. Always remember that many horrible things can happen to your physical body, but they cannot truly touch the essence of who you are, you are flesh, spirit and soul. You and only you have the power to not allow the core of your being to be damaged. It is difficult sometimes to not allow negative thoughts and emotions to seep in, the biggest hurdle in taking control over your life is to forget that it is a DAILY CHOICE. Remember each day is a gift, and a new beginning, even with a job, each day you have to get up and make that choice to go to work. It is this way when tragedy and adversity comes to reside in your life. Each day, each moment that you smile, or laugh, do something for someone else, or yourself is a victory. So, each day you have to make the choice, and the effort to value who you are by realizing that what you have experienced can make you stronger, and that YOU TRULY are the only person that has the control to make that choice. So much of life that we fear is a lack of control, when you believe and accept that you are truly all powerful in how you let things effect you your life will change forever, but the daily choice to do so must always be made.
Whether you are happy or sad the one true fact in life is that change is inevitable. If you're happy today ride it for all it's worth because it won't hang around forever. If you are in the pits of despair remember that this truly will pass, just hold on.
Your friends, your peers, as hard as it may seem to believe at the moment most of the people you now surround yourself with, good and bad will most likely be gone from your lives once you are out of school. You may remember many for years to come but your circle will evolve just like everything else does, and you will most likely retain only one or two friends from your childhood. I tell you this because you need to realize that your best friends are your family. Parent, Sister, Brother, etc. The support and strength that can be found through your family is the kind that lasts.
Don't spend your life trying to please everyone all the time and worrying about your popularity. Its a fantasy that robs you of the joy you could be feeling. Your measuring stick for the kind of person you are is inside yourself, designed and attended to by yourself. There will always be people who don't like you for some reason or another, there are people in this world who are just negative and miserable and they don't like being alone in their misery so they try to take others along for the ride. There are many more who are experiencing adversity of their own so try to be compassionate, but be careful about taking on the problems of others to the point where you drain yourself emotionally. You do your best work in helping others when you are taking care of yourself.
Persistence is one of the most valuable tools you could ever learn. You only lose when you cease to try. Life doesn't always go forward or backward, sometimes you have to go to the left or the right. Persistence will do more for you then looks, friends, boyfriends, talent, genius or education ever could.
Lastly, doing the right thing is rarely easy and doing the right thing does not ensure the right outcome. Integrity exists on that inner measuring stick and it only matters that you do the right thing even when no one else is looking. That is the only reward for integrity that can be counted on, you know inside you did the right thing. It may not seem like a valuable victory, but it is, and it sticks with you forever.
Pray for peace, comfort, and even forgiveness whether it be for yourself, or those that have hurt you. Each day, each moment that you allow the negative emotions you are continuing to be a victim, make the choice not to, I promise you will feel better for it. You can pursue the quest for justice while not letting it take anymore from you. The world is full of people who did not overcome, that won't make you special. Mayou Angelou once said "Surviving is important, thriving is elegant" I've been there, done that and have the t-shirt and these words helped get me there. The best revenge against adversity is to thrive in spite of it, and it really is within your power to do so.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.