Earning Their 37K

Clay County teachers will get a 3 percent pay hike next year. That weekly increase will disappear as soon as our teachers pump the 13th gallon into their tank. Still, every little bit helps members of the underpaid profession, and new teachers will start out making $37,800 annually. Or roughly 6 or 7 thousand bucks less than our least-compensated County Commissioners will make beginning in November.

Voters might decide to cut BCC salaries to a flat 37K, which means new teachers and Commissioners will be taking home very similar paychecks. So, how else do the two jobs compare?

Well, first off, teachers actually have to be qualified for their jobs, while all County Commissioners have to do is put up enough signs and convince enough voters that they're the least evil option for the job.

Incompetent teachers can be fired. Anyone who's paid attention to Clay County politics over the past couple of decades knows that incompetence on the County Commission is rewarded with names on the plaques at the front door of public buildings and a kick-butt lifetime health insurance plan.

Teachers will, without even a second thought, give a poor student money for lunch. County Commissioners will study ways to wring another tax dollar out of the poor student's parents while calling it a tax cut.

Teachers are thrilled when they get a question. Commissioners nearly soil themselves.

Teachers love questions that lead to discovery. County Commissioners listen to questions silently for a maximum of three minutes before moving on without providing even the scantest semblance of an answer.

Teachers will answer a "yes or no" question with "yes" or "no." County Commissioners will direct the County Attorney to answer the question, and there goes another 20 minutes of our lives we'll never get back.

When a teacher answers "yes" or "no," you can assume "yes" or "no" is the truthful answer. When a County Commissioner's lips are moving, you can assume it's designed to facilitate his or her own re-election and has little-to-no correlation to the actual truth.

Teachers want to open the door to knowledge. County Commissioners want to close the door, lock it, double lock it, then nail it shut.  They'll keep the door to knowledge shut until they realize there are enough citizens outside to break down the door if it's not unlocked.

Teachers get classroom art supplies by reaching into their own pockets. County Commissioners' hands are always in our pockets.

Teachers are popular and constantly earning increasing respect. County Commissioners are just popular enough to get elected, then begin an inexorable decline in respect.

Teachers devise effective lesson plans. County Commissioners devise ineffective growth management plans.

Teachers work five days a week, often taking work home with them.  County Commissioners work five days a month, sometimes for only a couple of hours at a time.

Teachers can look at themselves in the mirror. So can County Commissioners, but only to see their second face.

Michael S. Mann

michaelsmann@comcast.net