Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change. The chicken wanted change.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or the terrorists' side of the road.
GEORGE A. BUSH: I don't know why a chicken would even try to cross the road in my district, with all that traffic. Unless it wants to become feathered roadkill.
ROB BRADLEY: Why did that chicken get to cross the road? I never got a chance to vote for any other chicken to cross the road.
CHRISTY FITZGERALD: To cross district lines and pick up enough votes to overcome the fact that voters in its own district don't like the chicken.
DURWOOD SMITH: I don't know why the chicken is going to cross the road, but I'll be waiting for it on the other side to get its signature.
HARRY SHORSTEIN: Why the chicken chose to jaywalk isn't as important as the fact that the chicken is an elected official and, therefore, will not be effectively prosecuted for its crime.
FRITZ BEHRING: We have a duty to provide its safe passage in an efficient, professional manner, if enough chickens want their government to provide that service.
MIKE PRICE: After careful analysis, it is my opinion both statistics and logic dictate, should the BCC choose to provide chickens with safe road crossings, that restricting them to less than 33-degree variation from a straight line during the crossing would be most cost-efficient and least interruption to traffic flow.
CHEREESE STEWART: The chicken may have crossed the road as part of its territorial or mating instincts. I can tell ya all about chickens.
DOUG CONKEY: The chicken crossed the road because all the fine men and women of the military protected its right to cross the road.
CAROL STUDDARD: It just breaks my heart that we're not able to afford bus service for these young chickens to cross the road.
CHARLES VANZANT: If the chicken's busy somewhere else, it's OK to appoint the rooster to cross the road, isn't it?
CAROL VALLENCOURT: Let me tell you, I've been here a long time, and I've seen a lot of chickens cross the road ...
DAVID OWENS: I tried my best to teach that chicken to not cross roads. If it decided to try to cross the road, it was because that chicken's parents didn't do their jobs back at the roost and the Legislature didn't give me enough money to teach 'em right.
Michael S. Mann
michaelsmann@comcast.net [1]