It starts with the human basic need to belong, the need to be a part of a group of people who appreciates us and straightens our self esteem. Positive results have been achieved through the years integrating low-self esteem individuals to encouraging groups improving the way they look at themselves and reassuring their personalities so the can be completely self sufficient and walk with that safe feeling through life.
However, there is always a negative side of this basic need to belong that has been exploded since the world was created. Troubled minds who gather followers to executed the actions they don't dare to do. Minds who take advantage of the weak and low self-esteem individuals who desperately search for appreciation, recognition and popularity.
You find them in schools, social groups, cults and political leaders too. One of the most dangerous manipulators among our children are the gangs. And if you think we don't have them yet here in Jacksonville... think again!
The same gangs that terrorize big cities like New Jersey, New Your, California and Chicago (just to name a few) are already recruiting members in local schools, churches and other places you wouldn't even imagine, right under the parents nose!
Starts with bullying, intimidation and coercion. First they torment a victim, then they start to be nice to him (her) and then they invite them to join them in exchange of following their commands. Then they start the "daring" initiation games where they have to proof if they are loyal and able to torment other kids too, like a chain reaction with one purpose only: get more members. All this might seem like a normal part of growing up in a school, but it is not. There are adult minds behind all these rituals, criminal minds who need young hands and connections to gather more members, the more and stronger they are, the more territory they will cover with crime and power.
Let's face it! According to statistics 37% of public high schools principals and 31% of the ones from middle schools are reporting gang activity at their schools. And about 8% of teenagers will report being a part of some gang activity by the age of 17 years old and this includes females too!
Actually gang members usually rage in age from 12 to 25 years old. The average age is 17. Another important fact is that not all gangs refer to a specific ethnic group, there are some gangs out there who will recruit kids of any racial group or age.
The results of this continuous recruiting around the country is already causing an alarming 70% of the death of teens by guns in some cities.
But how to recognize gangs?
One of the first signs is graffiti. All you have to do is walk around the city and pay attention to your surroundings, you can see it displayed on the walls of the buildings, at parks, businesses and even schools. Some kids will wear a special distinctive shirt or hat, or will roll up one of the pants legs, a special earring, or a tattoo in the form of a tear (for some gangs this means how many people they have killed), and other symbols which have a unique meaning only for the gang.
They take a special pride of their names and they often have their own way to talk and hand signs. Their secret involvement demands complete loyalty and leaving a gang could mean death for some kids or a continuous threat to their families.
Gangs commit their members to violence from hurting or killing innocent people to perform heterosexual or homosexual acts. They force their newest members to proof themselves in front of the gang allowing to be beaten up or risking their lives and their freedom through "initiation".
They promise their members protection and call them "family". The majority of the gang members come from destroyed homes or have been dragged into the gang by intimidation. Gang leaders know what to say and do to intimidate and convince kids that: "Being a part of a gang is the solution to all their problems". The main reason for this recruiting is to replace the members who ended up in jail. The larger the number of members the strongest the gang.
Every other day a member of a Big City Gang moves to a neighborhood in our city, an event that can go two ways: either this new kid in the block will recruit more kids for the gang; or eventually, it will work to his own advantage giving him (her) the opportunity to a fresh start by being away from the gang.
Starts at home with smart parents always observing what's going on on their kid's lives. Here is what you have to look for:
- Strange behavior always involving new friends, disrespect, lack of interest for activities that they enjoy before.
-Long periods of time on the phone having secret conversations; or locking themselves in their room talking on the Internet with unknown friends.
- A sudden change on the way they dress and talk or on the music they listen to.
- Obsessive interest in having expensive clothes or driving a car.
- Racist or degrading comments to other people.
- A noticeable loss of weight (due to drugs) and a complete failing in school including bad conduct episodes against teachers.
-Fights in school, hurting other kids and being a bully.
-Hand signs to other kids (taking pride of their secret new relationships).
What to do:
-Take every single opportunity to talk to your kids about drugs and gangs. Explain to them that in order to feel good with themselves they do not need the approval from other people and how different it is when someone accepts them as they are without having to proof nothing to anybody.
- Know their friends and their parents, get involved with your kid in sports and other activities to keep them occupied.
- Keep a good communication with your kid's teachers they are your best allied. Be aware of any signs of gangs at school by asking other parents too.
- Report any signs of gang activity in your neighborhood, which might include: destroying private and public property such as graffiti, smashed mail boxes, hurt animals walking around and reports of kids being terrorized by other kids.
-Advised your kids that when they join a gang they are being manipulated by criminals who don' t care about them and that they will be risking their own lives and freedom getting involved with violence and crime.
- Build trust between you and your kids, tell them they can tell you anything, make them understand that before punishing them you are always there to help them.
- Keep informed by obtaining updates from your local law enforcement office web site about any drug and gang related activities in your area and warn your kids about it.
- Forward this useful information to your kids:
- It is not "cool" to be in a gang actually 93% of kids are not involved with gangs.
- In the real world, employers do not consider job applications from prospect who have some kind of gang related participation in their lives.
- By joining a gang they become an easy target for all other enemy gang members. An the only security they will gain is to be killed.
- Advise your kids to keep away from fights and not to overreact if they are threaten by bullies at school. Tell them not to act scared and to try to stay cool. The best way to overcome this situation is to ignore their arguments and walk away. However, make sure they tell you or the police if they feel their safety is at risk.
Finally here are some helpful sites for parents and kids.
http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/advice_gangs_vs_bullies.asp
http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/parenting.asp
http://www.theantidrug.com/news/index.aspx
http://www.theantidrug.com/drug_info/
http://ojjdp.ncjrs.org/ojstatbb/nr2006/index.html
Remember, that ignoring a problem won't make it go away, instead it might grow to the point where young lives will be ruined forever, your kid could be one of them... ACT NOW!