Help End The Cycle

This may or may not help you:

 http://www.guardianadlitem.org/documents/ILFAQ-bwFINAL.pdf

You seem to be familiar with the workings of foster care.  Thank you for opening my eyes to something I was unaware of.  I hope you receive answers from the community of bloggers that will assist you. 

ClayCounty,

You may already have thought of this resource but I'd suggest a phone call to Clay and Baker Kids Net. Here's their web site: http://www.cbkn.org/ . They are a non-profit with resources in Clay County. They may be able to help your young friend.

As a side note, most of Clay's children are sent to Duval County foster parents due to a lack of foster parents within the county. That is tragic and it breaks my heart. Along with the drama of being pulled from thier families, there is the additional trauma of changing schools, making new - temporary - friends because we don't have enough families to fill the need.

Heading into the Thanksgiving season, if you have children and they're safe, warm and loved, it's something to remember to be thankful about. If you have an empty bedroom and love to share, this might be your gift to return to a Clay County child.

Thank you ClayCounty, for giving us something to think about this weekend.

I'm not sure if it still exists but there was once a program called WIC that provides vouchers for specific food groups that will aid in nutrition for both Mother and Child. I was on it 27yrs ago when expecting my first child.  There wasn't alot of red tape to get it either, I just have no recall as to who sponsors it, I was living in another state at the time.

There is a "Jump Start" program that allows people to get an actual diploma and not just a GED.  You have to have a job to participate but it's a faster track to a diploma then traditional schools.

What would be ideal is if she could find a job (when she is able to work) as a live in Nanny or Housekeeper that would give a roof over her head as well as employment.

If she is able to get her diploma, and after the baby is born military service would be the single most effective way to get on her own feet and achieve independence but that would require someone to care for the child while she is in basic training.  You used to have to surrender custody of your child if you were a single parent in the military but I believe that may have changed, not sure.

It is so very sad that she is estranged from her family when she needs them most.  I cannot imagine my life without my kids or ever letting my daughters go through a pregnancy without support from their Mother.

Sometimes I wish reproducing was not a God given right.  Churches are the best place to go for true compassion and action and they often have information on programs and resources that may help. 

You could always set up a fund in a bank and try to get donations.  The news side of MCS reported 250K readers or something to that effect.  In times of trouble the kindness of strangers is often overwhelming.

Clay County, on the young lady's 18th birthday, take her first to the Public Health Department off Blanding at Bear Run and make sure this young lady becomes enrolled in any pre-natal services the county offers, in addition to keeping an eye on her own well-being.

If her checkered past includes chemical dependency, Clay County Behavioral Services offers an excellent Lifeskills Class.

Both agencies have sliding scale fee systems and a variety to programs available to ensure that both mom-to-be and baby have a chance to be healthy physically and mentally.

Just as an aside, the military never made single parents "give up" their children but as a matter of routine used to adminstratively discharge them shorty after the child was born.  The issue is that a single parent isn't able to adequately meed their obligations to the military and the child as a single parent.  Now days a single parent must sign a form that says they have a qualified guardian that can take custody of the child to ensure the single parent in the military is what they call "world-wide available" for their military obligations.  In effect it does the same thing, if they can't meet their obligations they are routinely administratively discharged. 

LARon,

I can only speak to what I experienced over 30yrs ago when I myself was in the military and at that time they had to turn over legal guardianship to someone else, not that they could not live with the parent but in case they were called to duty for an extended length of time the service made sure there was someone else designated who could care for the child.

My Son in Law is in the Coast Guard and where they are stationed there is a single Father with two kids who is routinely let out of duty others have to stand because he's a single Father.  Perhaps the fact that they fall under Homeland Security and not the Dept of Defense makes a difference but even when I was in the Coast Guard we were never under the Dept of Defense but the Dept of Transportation except in time of war and then we fell under the Navy's control.

LARon - Marsha;

It all depends on how you state the single parent issue and how far back in history you want to go.

A looooong time ago a female was discharged as soon as she gave birth whether she was single or not. Then they changed that to only if she were single. Then they finally got smart and changed to the one stated by LARon. You have to have someone to take care of the child if you deploy.

I believe the issue that Marsha was talking about is that a single parent could not enter the military if they had custody of a child. Male or female, if you had custody you had to give up all rights to the child prior to enlistment. Once you were in, and had completed basic training you could take back custody as long as you met the requirement that someone would take the child during deployment.

Has the military changed the requirement to give up the child prior to entry? I don't know the answer to that, but any military recruiter will know.

Finder

Thanks for all of your comments.  Let me give you more information and comment on all of the post. 

read44, Thanks for the document.  I, in fact, knew that this document existed and was hoping to get my hands on it.  I'll take some time to read it.

Verb, This 17 year old has technically been under the care of Clay Baker Kids Net for approx. 10 days.  I have called the case worker several times with no response and I am going to assume she wasn't in the office those days.  I do not want to get into a session discussing them as I know case workers are hard-working individuals and deal with lots of heartache.   I have spoken to my volunteer coordinator and developed a plan to attempt to work with Clay Baker Kids Net.  I will be ever diligent in trying to utilize whatever resources they have and follow any plan they may have for this child/adult.

I also noticed you mentioned that often foster children are sent to Duval County.  This 17 yr old actually has siblings in Baker County because a foster home could not be found.

Marsha, Thanks for the recommendations of WIC and JumpStart.  I know WIC still exist so I'll do a goggle search and see if I can find out the requirements.

OneMann and LARon,  You mentioned chemical dependency and in fact that is one of the reason she has little family support as her entire family has a history of chemical dependency and other abuse.  Therefore, it is not likely that she will get any help from relatives to act as "guardians". 

Remember, she has roughly until the end of the month until she is 18. Technically, when she turns 18 my volunteer duties should end also.   I am trying to make others see the urgency that I do with her as I see someone who wants to turn her life around but without help she doesn't have much of a chance.

No advice, just a deep, appreciative "Thank You" for standing up and helping this young lady.

Your help has, and will continue, to help her see there is a better way than that of her "parents".  Good luck in your effort to help her get her life back on track.

Thank you for your caring concern for this young lady.

A number of years ago when we moved to Clay County, my daughter befriended a young woman who - at best - lived down a pig trail in rural Clay County. Her home was a configuration of a number of trailers spliced together to quantify enough living space for the number of children in the family.

Their friendship waned.

Several years later, I was driving home from a county park with my youngest son when I saw this young woman walking along a State Road. I made a U-Turn and came around alongside her. She got in the car and I asked her, "What are you thinking?" I knew where she lived and she was walking from town to her home 13 miles away. She says she's working at MacDonald's and she needs the job.

I took her home that night and gave her all of my phone numbers saying, if you need a ride home, call me. I'd rather drive you home than read about you as a statistic in the newspaper.

A week or so later, I see her walking again. I pick her up. I drive her home.

Now I'm angry with her parents. Where are they? What are they thinking? They're letting a young woman walk 13 miles along a State Road twice a day.

I call a friend of mine with the Clay County Sheriff's Office. He's a lieutenant. I tell him the situation. He agrees to pick me up and go down this pig trail to confront this young woman's family (allowing her to walk a State Road constitutes parental neglect). We drive down this long, bumpy road to a God-forsaken location. There are two males outside the trailer. I say to the Lieutenant, I'll stay inside the car. I want them to see me but I don't want a confrontation.

He approaches the eldest male. After a discussion, he comes back to the patrol car and says, the guy was relieved to find out what I was here for. He says they let her walk because that's what she wants. He explains that it is unsafe for her parents to allow her to walk to school/work. They need to be more attentive. The eldest man agrees, they'll try.

I say, let's go see my young friend at McDonald's. We drive there.

I tell her, it matters not to me if you like me. What matters to me is her safety. I can't have her walking a State Road when I know - and the Lieutenant knows, there are sexual predators who travel this road every day. She says, "But nothing has happened so far."

I say, "You're lucky. You're living on borrowed time." The hitchhiking stopped.

The point is this, anytime you take the time and invest it in a young person, it pays two-fold. My young woman is alive today because an adult in the community cared enough to get involved her life. One person. A wake up call to her parents.

Like Bax, I want to honor your volunteer spirit, ClayCounty. Hang in there. The answers may not come easy but they'll come.

This young woman is worth the journey.

I've been out of the military about 5 years or so after 20+ years but went back to check on the current policy and the policy is still in effect concerning worldwide availability (WA).  The WA provides the DoD with an avenue to address this issue without seeming to discriminate against single parents which we all know are more common now than in the past.  If the single parent can work out the details of temporary guardianship then the DoD couldn't care less about them being a single parent.  As for her being able to enlist in the first place, that might be a problem and depends on how much the want her (and her solving the WA issue before her enlistment).  No good option as far as I can see with regard to miltary service but just wanted to provide the follow-up.